risa story

“Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter. Sweet. Alive.” ― Joanne Harris , Chocolat

beautiful is.. when ever i do love my life.. learning from things not yet learned and understood..

for our mornings, days, evenings, and nights.. and love simply needs us..

watching mist and cloudy sky..during our breakfast.. you are listening to me..as i am busy talking about wind and sand castle from structured to unstructured me.. might be my body and emotions, ego are low entropy substances.. created by my limited time here from culture and persons, my knowledge.. path already chosen for me.. certain things to do.. my soul and heart are another stories from my high entropy substances like the air..this mist, or morning sky.. they are experts in asking me not to trust too much on my exist knowledge..and they are honest.. while we are drinking our coffee.. i have to confess.. my low and high entropy substances love you.. and they are honest..

okay, not going to ask myself to win each games life given.. not telling myself to plan my revenge.. or waiting patiently to see someone's fall, soon or later..... but for sure..i do leisurely taste my anger.. buying the feeling of not being in peace.. laugh at myself as i try to become the center of the righteous.. i do love being a human, being imperfect..

things run so fast.. watching in vain how creativity takes control.. i am here..and you are with me.. observing all in details and try to be calm... while doing that.. we enjoy our cups of coffee.. maybe it is true..we need to be in silence, diligently observers of life itself.. so life could tell our stories and i need to tell you that i do love you, and undoubtedly.. us “Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.” ― Erich Fromm

  could not hide from these surreal and real feelings intertwine all into me.. and i do surrender because places are honest...

i learned about karma..it is me, the one who say enough and forgive, make the circle closed.. knowing that each told the story of me.. make me understand that there is no thing that accidentally happen.. and i learned about love.. that always highlighting my circles into gold.. anata no hitomi no oku ni hisomu shounenn   (the young boy hidden deep within your eyes) utada hikaru.. 

before, i was too afraid of having one.. i said, okay..let me flow and surrender to life, pain or fear, even joys could not insist me.. i did refuse my mind struggled, my body was tired.. as i said no.. many times.. to them not dare enough to visualize or imagine i knew dream could ignite other dreams, grow and invite more to join.. would change my comfort zone, destruction and annihilation.. threat my believes, my masks.. until.. dream kidnapped me.. and yes, i am right.. one is never enough.. drinking my coffee this morning.. grinning and smiling at the same time dream is an expert in teaching me how to forget my mistakes or failures.. make me starting all over again.. in each and every morning of mine.. Ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you. Hafiz

thank you for listening to my notes.. understand my pictures.. try really hard to be honest as life offers me signs and situations.. like million pieces of mirrors, merciless,  reflecting myself.. i try to tell you.. love and heart they make me brave enough.. to ask you to sit with me.. laugh and tears.. and cups of hot coffee.. thank you...

baby, us is about learning that we know nothing.. and enjoy...

sometimes i don't have words to describe.. said i do easily feel happy with no reasons.. even though situations cheated on me tried to make me forget the sweetness of hope and love helped me to walk with pride.. now, i am asking you to be with me.. because love is easy and undemanding love could bring me to a place with no name.no attributes allowed..no if.. and i am taking you with me..

I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. J.D. Salinger and that's you are..

learn to stay on the ground.. put down my wings.. creating my footsteps onto keep walking he said he is right..and i am totally wrong.. isn't life amazing, baby?

life adds, recreates me.. things i have never known that waiting for me to be discovered.. myself, my layers, my core.. situations told me the roads that have taken and you and us this morning i was here and watched all by myself be observer of the sky and morning the hue and face of -glittering sky on the surface- little lake.. and little ezra and your face.. i may learn new languages of love.. while doing that i rediscover me...