risa story

and who is this nice man? hey girl you forget your purse.. was there beside that coffee machine.. and for all my friends with punk hair and tattoo, leather jackets.. forgive me... unconsciously i do judge you..

seeing you.. thousands of me are watching me.. observing the feelings of my humanity.. you are part of me.. the depth and this vast make me speechless.. i am totally absorbed by love..

ask myself to.. give me reasons to choose get tense so easily be so ambitious..try so hard getting what i want.. say thousand times that loose is not in my vocabulary still, at the end of the day, i admit that i live in the world of others and needs or give me reasons to choose watching me and life.. seeing me dance with love.. enjoy my moment here.. passion and works walking on the same path and while doing that i do create my own "world"

“In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.” ― Deepak Chopra

you said to me... so sorry for the past.. i was not there with you.. and you were not there for us.. i answered.. please baby, thank life.. because with experiencing these pains of mine and yours.. we do understand and appreciate love, as much as we need..

dream of us... no diamonds or luxury party.. just us.. pray for our simple celebrations of life and love.. each and every day we spend together..

surely, i am now okay with the heartaches, the pain of broken promises, shattered dreams I had.. totally okay with my old drama of nights with cry and hot chocolate strolling to places and jealousy struck whenever saw people in so much love..desperately lost i do accept that with no doubts.. they are okay.. put down my hot cappuccino..smile and hug you tightly.. for me, life is always love in disguise...

an evening is my honest beauty..

angry is a huge need to be listened.. before i did eagerly spontaneously find my targets.. asking.. love teaches me.. it should be like this.. make a mug of coffee.. sit down... it is time to keep quite, be alone.. because honestly.. it is me..that need to be listened by my heart..

_ lots of patience and acceptance.. _ ability to have logical and maybe lots of unrealistic reasons to understand.. _ imaginatively creatively persistence personality.. and.. i could stay silly in love as long as i want... and fortunately i need you the most...

love says in many ways.. need to listen...

don't ever call me angel, have tendency to fly away and be alone, here, too noisy.. people, heavy with so many intentions and needs.. i am so sensitive with my fears and theirs.. here with my broken wings.. exhausted.. nearly get lost.. but love asks me to keep calm.. i do obey love..

i am so sorry.. for days and nights and moments.. i did see you through my fears and pain.. i am weak sometimes and could not stop doing that. but still.. when ever you are in my arms.. i do smile and be grateful for love...

get blinded whenever i look into your eyes.. they show me who i am.. it's okay.. blinded me again.. make me dizzy.. and brave..

whenever i find out that i am not honest... i keep quiet and listen stop writing.. i am waiting me to tell the truths..

words make me so open vulnerable am I brave enough keep doing this sometimes i doubt myself.. but there's only a way in experiencing life ask myself again to welcoming all...

choose simplicity over luxuriously complicated words.. because they could describe me and you easily.. but they're never be alone, feelings and emotions are cramped into each... i keep quiet when i am not honest with myself.. the words flow with me and you.. and the world is spinning around.. we always fall in love.. and let words partying over our simplicity..

love takes me away from my comfort zone.. and surely i am taking you along.. so sorry for feeling those worries and jealousy.. the fears of separation..the pain of not being together all the time..

you said, i have stopped searching for love .. avoiding first then accepting that i shouldn't have but now you make me so romantic.. make me silly..for being so vulnerable we have learned lots from love.. no ambitions involved.. brave enough to dive deep into.. love needs to recognize and choose us...

listen to my worries they accompany my moments.. each of them do screaming through my body.. could feel them sharply.. listen to acceptance... i smile..and embrace them once again.

some ask me not to be who I am for the seek of what they think controlling our lives.. in the name of love and fears.. sipping my coffee and diligently watching the rain outside.. i keep answering with this.. let me live my life.. don't trust me but trust that life is love in disguise..

before i thought that notes are nothing feelings should be kept and i believe that i could enjoy life by doing that. i was wrong.. notes and writings show me with no mercy who i am.. crush my believes and ego destruct and rebuild until i could see me and you clearly.. they help me describe love..

while we're sleeping feelings are busy talking to me.. i don't care about my past or yours.. but i do listen to them.. they are stronger when i simply hold you in my arms..

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.” ― Kahlil Gibran , The Prophet

writing notes, no point to think that...feelings and thoughts are better understood after i do ask myself...am i honest enough? make sure that i do write with my soul and heart.. because words could tell if i am not.. and you are not with me now.. while i am sipping my coffee.. still my heart hugs you through my notes... and the words agreed that i do love you..

there are thousands things inside us what you need and what i want from you they are subtle translations and answers, soft transformations it is dance of love you could read me easily and i smile whenever you become a 7 year old boy again..

today is celebration for me ... feel like having our anniversary and birthdays in one time name any feast we could celebrate now why do we have to wait? Salute to life!

places, they are kind enough to show us..love is not only a word

i am honest but please, baby.. there are things beyond your imagination.. the beauty and the secrets.. smiles and knowledge in me.. forgive me,, that i keep reveal them to you.. make you surprise and create discussions over our coffee latte.. love and honesty.. and revealing each of mine to you is love itself...

ruined my life.. believed that life is harsh... alone in this vast universe and waiting for my dice to show up..until life winks to death. even though i believe in God.. still i did not believe my right to experience my joie de vivre and i learn one thing... never blame persons.. keep hug myself and embrace my life 

yes i could read many things.. things that are hiding, kept telling our selves again and again..hoping that they are not exist subtle and simple yet layered.. i read one thing, others come and ask to be known shame is human word for not being transparent and vulnerable and i read you... i must tell you for the seek of honesty that i do love you