risa story

Need to get out from my big ego self.. Destruct and reconstruct my logical mind.. Dont believe my assumptions.. Acknowledge my ignorance and sins.. Dare enough telling others I know more.. I am in amazement..who am I?

For years I had tried my best to shut down.. Keep putting spaces between words. Shut my eyes and fuss meanly to my ears not to listen. I was afraid of details.. They could highlighting boldly.. Blinded and yet honest. Prefer to see up to clouds and sky. Ask my feet to fly. But you make me.. To detaily - talk about love.. See us and not ignoring our moments.. And your arms keep me from flying. I need love and us.

walking through time, places.. listening patiently.. who i am without heart and eagerness to listen

i don't like words...they can't tell you honestly the love and my feelings.. the fears..of being far and not have you in my arms.. my experiences and my humanity.. your experiences and my wings. how could we have names and have these.. “Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.”  ―  Rumi ,  Masnavi i Man'avi, the spiritual couplets of Maula

About ambition, the best friend of fears The need to control..eagerly want to ask others to see with my eyes. Diminish the other thoughts.. I am worthy than you.. Smarter but complicated with bunch of vested interested. Nearly finish build my throne of nothing. Yes its time to say to myself Be simple, stupid!!!

Lots to say to you.. My head and heart are so crowded with beats and bits of feelings and thoughts. But no words want to help me. So I keep quite and hold you tighter in my arms.. I love you.

I met myself last night.. Smiling back.. and I was in tears.. Because in seconds I heard secrets..

I am not romantic.. But..I am breathing with you.. In your arms.. Seeing what you have seen. Laughing at jokes you loved and I didn't quite understand. Staying away in moments when we hadn't known each other's names Try to read your lessons and equations when you were in college. Asking you to differ veins from arteries, sitting with me in library. Talking about our ex lovers..in silence. At the same time..I am breathing with you.. I do love you.

I am not romantic.. Thats because of...you are with me. I have long discussions with love for nights and days..

Tell me Rumi.. My wings take me to the places Make me reading easily human's needs and assumptions..easily see the devils or angels.. This world is like a play ground now .. or i must say like a play dough in my hands... But please Rumi People think i am risa, walking with others But they dont know that me is not with them.. For me future is the now.. The past is nothing just a shadow with no strong existence. Rumi... But whenever I see evils.. they smile back at me...knowing they are parts of me or maybe they are in me.. But Rumi.. I do okay with that.. Because I learn to let myself flows with life... And once again love put her arms around me... Labaika allahuma labaik..

Is it my life..a controlled dream? And you laughed at me.. Ok stop reading and thinking like thats the only thing you want in life! Lets go out and have cappuccino.. I love you

I was lost...in old cities.. Swirling smell of the ancient perfume of myrrh.. Became a witness. .walking beside you, listening in amazement.. Who am I.. This force is beyond my comprehension and yours, You agreed. Our souls and mine.. Who are we...in these souks of lives

for every moments we have or not our cups of coffee we shared together or not.. for our feelings.. for silly jokes and awkward laughs.. for any problems we have because i read map wrongly.. for your sleepy eyes in the morning.. for want to be together forever us for our goodbyes and will meet you very soon.. for books that i read and you wait me finish read my book for our prays..and tears.. for our walkings.. i do love you and us

my fears I did listen to them.. each coming from hiding  but always sit beside me, stubbornly loyal to me I am okay.. because I learn from them to love 

you could think that you were starting fresh.. when actually what you were doing was carrying on as before.. The unlikely pilgrimage of harold fry

for thousand stories of yours that you kept from me.. and hundred parts of unknown you that are not being shared with me.. i do love you..

i am asking sky..many times why do you breath along with me is it because we have the same soul? or simply, because we did choose ourselves..before we have names

these emotions are too strong to be handled.. too sharp to be felt.. confusion..why me..? dragging me very slowly..taking inch by inch the joy of my experiences.. everything is so clear and makes me afraid.. talked to Rumi last night. why me? why us..? we are only humans? he smiled be a witness don't judge.. create space between you and you cry and laugh and be honest with saying your feelings.. forget hidden agendas..hinder your steps to control be brave to choose to feel your feelings.. love is watching and waiting.. are you honest enough to be love's best friend..

how this life cleverly made us together.. after years we had walked on the path that was so close and yet so far.. and this old song crushed us into pieces.. stripped us until we could see our naiveness and tears.. showered us with these bold memories.. and we dance under the same sky and stars.. just like my father and mother.. just like your father and mother.. it is love...

my heart speaks nothing.. i am in amazement of knowing nothing.. i can't and... stop writing i am listening...

for some reasons... i listen to love.. distance and time.. past and future.. before and beyond that.. how could i assure you because every time i see your eyes.. and for moments i do missing you.. words are nothing.. these words are nothing.. i love you..more than i know and more than you know...

be a mother.. seeing beyond what i want and to expect.. forcing myself to see me through them.. i could feel their laughs, tears.. those are stabbing right into the core of my heart.. these are too strong to be understood this in unconditionally love..

love is laughing at my fears.. and i am amazed by how quickly your love creates smile on my face..

there's always a first time.. finding a ' new way' in listening to our stories... experience a new us every time life reveals the magic of our journeys, is it love.. or simply us.. that creates this beauty..

some said another, same, boring route.. but please.. feel what my feeling tell me.. the fears are staying with love.. there is no take for granted.. every single moments of us.. every experiences of being us.. overwhelming.. looking at you.. thinking.. who am I.. why me.. why us.. and why love do choose us..

doubts are beautiful.. they are thousand mirrors.. along the way.. captured my laugh and tears.. my fake and ego.. my nakedness.. my naive emotions..my awe help me to be honest.. because at the end of my day.. it is me whom need to understand my true intentions..to love and be loved

but my wings are made from imperfect me..

for feelings.. places agree to be their keepers..

i listen to these spoken and unspoken stories.. ego and hearts.. be sensitive and vulnerable.. i do learn

shattered by my false promises.. molded by mistakes and beautified by understanding not judge but listening to my stories and ours.. from the bottom of my heart.. i learn again to promise.. with the braveness of my humanity and to say.. ...i love you...