risa story

may be i have been chosen by myself.. to experience and feel life.. as i was in this cafe..watching people passed by and the sky was so blue with undefined beauty, unanswered questions within.. pasts, sat with me shoulder to shoulder and for some moments, they just left me,  picked the far distance table away from mine, ignored me as my remembering mind tried to decide am i honest enough for telling you this..? in the world full these uncertainties, doubts..and unknowing ness.. maybe i have chosen you to experience love with me...

“We can either emphasize those aspects of our traditions, religious or secular, that speak of hatred, exclusion, and suspicion or work with those that stress the interdependence and equality of all human beings. The choice is yours. (22)” ― Karen Armstrong , Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life

make laugh of myself.. the way i treat myself seriously.. with my tons of mistakes.. and it is comforting..

have to forgive..and let go because hatred is too heavy to be carried.. make me forget that live in my "heaven" is about my choice..

“I am a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality.” ― Byron Katie , Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

some said..love is just another big lie.. but please.. be with lovers.. listen to their heart beats.. the way they hold each other, try to conquer time.. as the silence and nights wrap them around in thousands sacred ways... passionate and naive.. listening to our stories with out judgement and assumptions.. because we are touched by the wordless beauty of love..

craziness, weirdness seen in others certain things which make me upset easily.. to be honest.. they are just spotlighting 'me' which i refuse stubbornly to see.. they are innocence..

not about knowledge or possession.. egg skin strength of my fake image.. arrogance ego of mine.. my humanity shows the honesty of fear.. clear dialogue of my brain and my doubt.. teach me how to wait patiently to understand and be understood as love rebuilds us..

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i give myself permission to scrutinize my intellectual side of my knowledge.. before.. i do read yours.. i do let myself make jokes of my failures.. keen enough to questioning and learn from them.. before.. i am calm enough to let me accepting yours.. extrovert enough to make you to see me.. introvert enough, so i could indulging my secrets or spirituality land.. be concern, care but not eager to change us.. celebrate our complexity and at the same time our simplicity.. lets partying over our lives and us..and love

honesty came, sitting with me..shoulder to shoulder i could hear love whispering.. change every cells of mine.. trembling, radiantly glowing.. for a moment..i became a naive witness of what sky talking about..

walking in and into unknowingness of my experiences.. i could feel very strong that.. my soul, heart, and love agreed to vibrate in the same tune..with or without "me"

was amazed.. when the universe, dust, and me confessed that we are just identically existence of nothingness.. they really understand my bold unspoken language of tears.. describing love..

i am so light and my wings are so strong they took me to a sacred place where secret is being kept was so mesmerized by its beauty baby, please talk to me.. weighed me down to this earth..ask me for not go so far my soul needs reasons and they are us..

remind myself many times... for not judging people. feel like i am sitting on my throne.. watching down on people.. suggesting things for them to choose.. believing that i am the rule creator.. the know-er even though there are uncountable books not yet read by me..paradigms not yet acknowledged... keep remind me judging make me a "god wanna be"..and i do burn down my wings... “Beyond our ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language, even the phrase ‘each other’ doesn’t make sense any more.” ― Rumi

intimacy is whenever i forgive that i know little about myself, you.. and simply accepting us..

i try so hard to recreate myself working diligently, listen to my knowledge noted what people want for me my images..but then i throw them away, avoid building 'what i want to look alike' me and love... once again steps in asking me to stop these foolish efforts.. let love and true 'you' design you.. from perspective you've never known exist.. be surrender, witnessing the beauty of being human.. this time..just relax and enjoy

i am amazed by this language of love.. the feelings intertwine with our subtle emotions.. the looks and smiles befriend with this silence.. the problems are accompanied with our laughs truly.. understanding is beyond my knowledge.. experiencing love makes me not human anymore.. i do touch heaven sky and listening the strangeness is accepted  as love holds us

sometimes forget to respect others..because i forget to respect myself.. as  for sure i do remind myself not to ignore our beauties.. not to forget that we create our wings..and unfortunately we could easily burn them down.. along the way.. we do choose.. and i do choose us..

get these " important things to be learned" from the book! say NO, easier to keep my life simple..people could make me exhausted..not only zombie do not pile things..see and forget..those price tags and fancy dresses could be my lil sad flags announcing my fragile territory and yes, debts could be more ferocious than zombie forget blink blink jewelry need days "no high heels allowed" for me run is my best exercise..no expensive gym or yoga class eat less and be vegan and be skeptic.. who could predict anything because future is a big question.. be open minded one.. okay..let me drink my coffee...

A great silence comes over me, and I wonder why I ever thought to use language.” ― Rumi